When we talk about covid-19, the first thing that comes to mind is what have we all lost due to the virus. The losses are plenty, some have lost family members, some have lost their livelihood and most of us lost our sense of freedom and ended up being confined to our hostel rooms and PPE suits for months. Three covid-19 waves and two years later, when I sat to write this, I started wondering that all of us have lost quite a lot but have we gained anything?

If three years ago you would have told me that doctors from Psychiatry department would end up managing medical wards with critical patients, all by themselves, I would have laughed at you and probably asked you what drugs were you on! But the pandemic was the great equaliser. Resident doctors from all specialities were thrust into in covid wards, sometimes all alone in big, scary medical wards. I feel we performed far better than what was expected from us. Whenever any of us had difficulties, our colleagues from medicine department and critical care were always there to help us. There were times when a first year resident, a third year resident and a qualified MD/MS postgraduate from different departments all worked on the same floor in different wards and came together to help each other out without a second thought. I think this cohesion, this sense of community was one of the most beautiful things that emerged out of this whole ordeal. One of favourite shows has this line which says ‘ The lone wolf dies but the pack survives’ and most of us would have noticed that the residents really came together during this tough time, friendships blossomed and there was support present when someone needed help.

As a psychiatry resident working in covid-19 services, I got to witness its impact on mental health of patients as well as my fellow doctors. A lot of us realised how important our mental health was and how it was okay to ask for help when things became difficult. During this period, we all had become personal physicians of our families, friends and even distant relatives who would all call us up in a state of panic asking for help and advice and I’m sure all of us have done our best to deliver that. At such a young age, it made us realise the role that family plays in our lives and we as doctors play in the society.

During the pandemic, there came a point in my life when it seemed that the pandemic and our duties would never end. Self-doubt and doubts regarding the whole system would often creep up in my head after being away from your my department and my beloved branch for about 7-8 months at a go. Initially it was quite tough managing wards filled with critical patients, sometimes managing wards without any additional support and being not only the doctor there but also the only attendant, caregiver and telephone operator of the ward all at once while in a PPE suit in scorching heat. I also witnessed death for the first time in a covid ward and it was quite difficult to process despite having done everything I could have for the patient. During these times we all came together while doing covid duties and while being quarantined together. Our equation was not just junior- senior anymore but it was that of a family that cared for each other like their own. We have laughed, cried, danced, eaten and lived together during this period and created bonds that will definitely last a lifetime. All of this was possible for us because of the love and support that our faculty gave us during these testing times.
As I write this, I am smiling because I realised that it took a pandemic to put things into perspective, to make me aware of the importance of all of these people in my life and the impact they’ve had on me.